Update on Henny--July 2008

Henny continues to wage her fight against the horrible disease that invades her mind and body. She is such a strong woman physically, and her strong body has kept her going even while her mind fights the disease that invades it. After almost 60 years of marriage, she is by no means in this war alone, and has a whole team of family helping her and fighting this illness with her. The Captain of that team is Joe, who cares for his bride with the dedication of a saint. He makes sure she is fed, clean, medicated, and as comfortable as she possibly can be.

 

We were all there for Joe's 83rd Birthday, all 5 of his children were there, along with many (but not all) grandchildren. A wonderful dinner was made, and the highlight of the day was getting Henny into a wheelchair for the first time in several weeks...up out of the bed. Her strong boys got her around her home, stopping to watch the activity in her kitchen, and just take a tour of her home...giving her something different to look at and experience. She did great with it, and Joe said it was the most wonderful birthday gift he could have received.

 

The whole day was very bittersweet for me. Losing my own Mother so recently, the wound is still very open and raw. The hard reality that we most probably will lose Henny this year as well is very difficult for me to deal with, as she has always treated me as a daughter, and to me she is my "other Mother". I am so proud of the Warren family and how they have come together to surround Henny at the end of her life with love and compassion. I know in my heart that she wishes for nothing, and feels no discomfort or pain. 24/7 she is surrounded by people that love her, soft music and a very soothing environment. She is a woman who will hopefully celebrate her 89th birthday this month, while she will never know it. It still weighs so heavily on my heart, every day. So many times I cannot help myself by to break down and cry, not only for Henny, but for the deep ache I feel that is the whole in my heart I have lived with since my own Mom left me. I still needed her. I miss her so very much, and I cannot bear to think about not having Henny any more...even though we have not really "had her" around in a very long time. Death has a horrible finality to it.

 

We have some very difficult times ahead of us all. I'm sure that everyone will deal with them in their own way. For me, it seems impossible that two of the most important women in my life will leave this earth the same year, and I cannot imagine how to go on without them. I guess I don't have a choice. How to live without that anchor of grief around my heart pulling me toward the bottom?

 

I don't know.