Mom

This has to be one of my favorite pictures of my Mom. I hear it was taken by a newspaper, but for what I do not know. I love the look on her face, as well as my sister's face. The picture is badly damaged by time and the elements, but it does not matter. She looks so young and pretty to me here, full of life, with her beautiful baby in her arms. She looks happy.

Today is 2 years since Mom died. Two years have passed since I held her hand and said goodbye. I miss her more than I can say, and I had no idea that the time would not dull the grief. I look at my own hands and see hers, sometimes I catch myself in a picture or the mirror with a certain look that was totally her. And I miss her. So very much.

The day she died there was a huge rainbow in the sky. So big and so bright it was in the newspaper. It was very visable from her room that last day, as my Dad sat with her and held her hand and said goodbye. Last year on the anniversary of her death I was SO down, and on the way to work that morning saw a rainbow in the foothills beyond my work. It made me smile, and I felt that it was a "sign" or a reminder for me to help me get past the grief and remember that she was in such a better place. The last several days, with all of the rain we have been having and the patches of sun in between I have been scanning the skies and the hills looking for a rainbow. A friend posted one on Facebook this week, and I even responded that it was perhaps the one I had been looking for. And then today, on my way home from work, there it was. I was getting off the freeway, and right in front of me in the clouds was a very light rainbow. But it was there. As stupid as it may sound, I felt such a weight lifted off of me, and felt a big smile creep across my face. Thank you Mom.

I wish Mom could be here to see my girls grow. She would be so proud of them. I wish she was here to consult, when I am having difficult times and am struggling with my day to day life. She always had such common sense, good advice. I wish she was here to tickle my arm, or hold my hand, or give me a tight squeeze and whisper in my ear "I Love You, sweetie". I wish she could have dinner in my home, and enjoy my husband's amazing cooking. I guess I just feel so sad because I wish she could still be here to share my life with me, and vice versa. I did not have long enough with her.

I love you Mom. I hope I will preserve part of you with the lessons you taught me about being a Mom, and the way I raise my girls. You taught me so many lessons, and I feel so lucky to have had you in my life. I love you, and I miss you so very, very much. As much as I remind myself that you are in a better place, I still feel very sad today. Very, very, sad.

Lunch at Doyle's in Sydney Harbor

A quick clip from lunch in Sydney...

Australia...continued

Now that we are back home, and internet issues are not an issue, I wanted to finish the days we had "Down Under" in one of the most beautiful places I have ever seen. It sounds so corny, but truly from the moment I arrived until the last sad second before departure I felt such a strong feeling that this was my soul's resting place...a place where I felt completely and totally at rest, at ease, for the first time in my life. Perhaps I was drunk with vacation fever...where the heady cocktail of no work and no responsibilities convinced my brain that this was "the place to be". I say that, but I don't really believe it. I can't wait to go back, and if there was a way for me to stay there, I would jump on it!

One of the highlights of our incredible journey was Rob and my trip to Sydney. Completely unplanned, it was Clive's way of making things happen that propelled us to take this trip. Can I just say how much I respect and love this Man. I always have, and I remember being so grateful that he honored us with an amazing song at our wedding reception. He is one of those people that you might be just lucky enough to meet once in a lifetime. His life has not been easy, but I believe God has lead his path. And God helps him to lead others. No Doubt. He suggested it, he pushed the point, and away we went. For two people that have had such amazing stress in our lives for the last few years, and so little (okay NO) time to ourselves, it was a much appreciated, and MUCH needed time for us. One we will never forget. Forgive me for the picture above, but I am smitten with awesome hotel bathrooms! You can see my little camera hand in the top of the picture, but as we checked in I was just blown away by the beauty of the room. We had a view of the clocktower, and a drawer full of wine glasses, but the "rainforest" shower head stole my heart! I won't creep you out with a picture of me enjoying the rainforest showerhead, but take my word for it...it was amazing!

This was the view from our room's window. I loved it. Okay...I'm shallow...

After we checked in and got settled we decided to take off and see the city. After all, we were in the CBD, or Central Business District, and right in the heart of the city. We were so stoked..it was perfect for a few days of exploring the city on foot! A 10 minute walk in any direction would take us to the most incredible locations! We got packed up with camera's and comfy shoes and took off. First stop was somewhere for lunch, as it was 2:30 and we had not had much to eat all day. We decided to go to the much recommended Doyle's for lunch, and found out it was only a 10-15 minute walk away. Perfect!

We took off from the hotel toward's "Circular Quay" pronounced Circular "Key" to get lunch. The wonder's of the city awaited us...

Did we have fun? Well...

We've talked a lot about our trip, and what was our "favorite" thing...the highlight, the thing we liked the best. The one answer that always seems to come up is "EVERYTHING"! We have had the most fantastic trip, it is almost beyond description. I am sitting in Clive and Johanna's living room right now, by myself, just thinking about it all. It is shortly after midnight here (early Monday morning) and we will be leaving for a few hours to the airport. The house is dark and quiet, everyone is asleep. I am listening the the cozy sound of rain outside and just taking a minute to reflect. I guess I'm already a little down-in-the-dumps...not wanting to go to bed and wake up to our last few hours here.

We have had a trip where there have been no major mishaps. We have joked that the travel Gods have been smiling on us, as we have had one amazing experience after the next. Even a simple trip to the movies was a mindblower! And some of the most amazing things have been when we have just been having a lazy day at the house, watching the kids swim and play together, and just genuinely enjoy being together. Wonderful meals, both in and out of the house, wonderful conversations, and just generally awesome family time.

On top of all of that is the fact that we have seen and done some of the most amazing things. The Great Barrier Reef, the Rainforest, the kids being able to hold koalas and snakes and crocodiles...pet and feed kangaroos, visit glowworm caves...to name just a few! I was so determined to keep up with blogging, but a few Internet glitches and just having too much fun "living" the trip have made my postings few and far between. I guess that's a good thing, after all...what is more boring than someone else's vacation pictures anyway? I hope I can document more of it though...really for myself and my little family, to help us remember as time fades the memories.

I know my children will remember this wonderful trip their whole lives. What incredible experiences they have had, we have all had. We owe it all to Clive and Johanna, who made every aspect of this trip possible for us, and went so far above and beyond to open their beautiful home and their beautiful hearts to us, with generosity and spirit beyond compare. We love you guys so much and our hearts will be breaking as our little family gets back to our day to day life. We look forward to the next time we are all together, and know we will just have a blast! Until then, I will just keep in mind what seems to be the most common, and most wonderful mantra around here, "No Worries Mate!" Until next time...