9 Years

***This picture was a ridiculous Photoshop picture I did 9 years ago...shortly after returning from our honeymoon. I took a pic of Rob standing on the beach and stuck him on this surfboard. I don't know why, but even after all of these years this picture makes me laugh. Every time. And wow...honey...I would just like to say that you were a stud muffin back then, but you are in SUCH better shape today...9 years later! I am indeed a lucky girl!*** All of these pictures were taken on our honeymoon, in Hawaii, 9 years ago.

I remember standing on his doorstep...nervous, and sporting purple hair. Less than 2 weeks shy of having my heart ripped out and stepped on, trying to move on from one life to another. I had been cheated on (again) and it had finally been enough. I had gone to the salon to "make a change" (note to self...never go for the complete hair color change in the midst of crisis) and had come out of the salon finding out that my idea of "strawberry blonde" and the stylists were not the same. Not even close. My hair was PURPLE. I had an appointment to go back to the blonde I was...but it was not for a few days. That's when my friend and coworker Debbie overheard me in the break room of Laguna Hills Animal Hospital on the phone at lunch looking for a room to rent. She questioned me about it, knowing I had been engaged, and when I told her the story all she could say was "I HAVE GOT THE GUY FOR YOU!"

So she convinced me, this guy had gone through the same thing, had his heart broken. He was a great guy, she said, and one of her husband's best friends. The more she talked, the more she smiled...and kept saying "This guy is perfect for you!" I was doubtful. After all, I had gone through some nightmare blind dates...all set up by kind hearted friends that just knew "that perfect guy" and wanted to set me up and fix me after my blow. But I knew Debbie was more of a serious girl, someone that just did not do things lightly. I agreed that she could give him my number, and we would go from there. What can I say...I was lonely. We spoke on the phone, me in the tiny office/closet of the small store at the hospital, he was on the golf course. He asked to meet me the next night, at his house. He wanted to make me dinner. He assured me if I was not "ok" with coming to his house we could go out. I trusted Debbie enough to agree to meet him at his new condo.

He opened the door and I will never forget his first words to me in person, "You're gorgeous!" I stood there with purple hair, my self confidence at an all time low, but as soon as I saw his handsome smile and heard his genuine words I felt safe. Comfortable. I went in. We ate his beautiful dinner. We talked. And talked. And talked. At the end of the evening he walked me to my car and asked if he could kiss me. I (of course) agreed. He was the perfect gentleman. It was perfect. But my heart was still raw. And my ability to trust was non-existent.

We saw each other the next day, and the next, and the day after that. When I was not with him, he was on my mind. I remember walking through a department store and going to the men's fragrance section to spray men's "Curve" on my hand...as that was his favorite fragrance. I spent the day drawing my hand to my face to inhale in his scent. I was hooked. Our first year together was a heady mix of partying and love. But we were both damaged, and trust was just not in our hearts. Yet.

All of the other details I will leave for another day. My feeling is this, that God had a plan for Rob and I, and while sometimes the road was bumpy, he lead us along the path he had planned for us. That path caused me to marry my best friend, have 2 beautiful children, and live in the secure world of his arms. I am honored to be his wife. I am blessed to be the mother of his children. I love him completely, and I know he feels the same. Indeed I cannot imagine something better.

Today I write this as your wife of 9 years. And your lover till end's end. And your best friend till sunset's sunset. And your sole mate until our very last sunrise, may that be in the distant, distant future.
Rob, I am madly in love with you. Today--much like yesterday, and very much like tomorrow, I am proud to be your wife.
Happy 9th Anniversary, my love.

She's Bold

This picture was taken on the first day of first grade, about a month ago. Avery's hair had gotten so long, and most days we ended up putting it in a ponytail at her request as she didn't like it getting in her face while she was playing, or at soccer. A few weeks ago she decided she wanted to get it cut...and not just a trim. She wanted a bob. I kept thinking she would change her mind, so I didn't rush to make an appointment. But she asked me about it almost daily, so finally since I had an appointment myself this Saturday I decided to just take her with me and have Sebastian cut it while my color was processing. While we were waiting I had her look at some magazines and point to how she wanted it.

This is what she chose. She saw a magazine with a picture of Katie Holmes on the cover with a chin length bob, and immediately pointed at her and said that was what she wanted. She was SO EXCITED sitting next to me waiting for it to be her turn. Sebastian took a few big snips of hair off to start, just to remove the length. I picked up a huge clump of hair that he cut that was over 10 inches long and showed it to her, and she just smiled.

I sat watching him trim and shape her hair I had such an emotional response. I thought about how much this new cut suited her petite features, and for some reason I just kept thinking that Mom would have loved to see her with this haircut...and I was so wishing she could. By the time he finished she was so proud, and smiling from ear to ear. She kept asking me what I thought Daddy would think of the cut, or Mrs. Peyton, or her friends/Aunties/Uncles/teammates. I kept telling her they would love it.

A young girl with waist length hair, probably about in her 20's sat waiting for Sebastian to finish working on us as she had the next appointment. She overheard what we were talking about, and saw the long pieces of hair on the floor under Avery's chair. She asked her about her haircut, and when Avery told her what she had done she sat with her mouth hanging open and told Avery, "You're REALLY BRAVE to cut your hair like that, I wouldn't be that brave! You're BOLD!" That struck me as just the perfect description of Avery...Bold. I love you my bold baby!

Mis-Match Day

Friday at St. Paul's was "Mis-Match" Day. The whole idea is the crazier the better, so the girls put their outfits together trying to be as crazy as possible. They succeeded.

I'm worried when the teen years hit this will be the normal type of attire... :-)

Ronald Reagan--An American Life

This last Sunday we made a family road trip to the Ronald Reagan Presidential Library in Simi Valley. Zoey has a biography book report due this coming Friday and her subject is Ronald Reagan. I've wanted to visit this library for years, and so it seemed like a perfect day trip.

The drive up was smooth, so nice to have a little "road trip" time. We are so lucky, we love being in each other's company and always have the best times when we just spend the day together. The area around the library is beautiful. You can easily see why this location was chosen. Up on a hill and overlooking the valley it stands a very proud monument to one of our nation's heroes.

The whole library was beautiful, but the crowning jewel was the Air Force One Pavilion. An airy, huge building, it houses the actual Air Force One used by RR. The plane is raised up off the ground by pillars, and combined with the huge wall of glass the plane is facing it almost seems to be in flight. I was surprised at how primitive the interior seemed (I think I had visions of the movie version), but the docents explained that this was the plane commissioned by Nixon in 1973, and at the time it was total "state-of-the-art". It was fascinating to see the actual plane he travelled almost 700,000 miles in (but never slept in), and imagine him there. The photographs on the walls show a man who was very down to earth, joking and laughing with the staffers and media on board. The exhibit is topped off with a Marine One helicopter, as well as the actual limousine and Secret Service vehicles that were used at the time. Really cool to see in person.

Outside of the library there are beautiful gardens, including a replica of the White House Rose garden. Here stands an actual piece of the Berlin wall, and the enormity of what this man accomplished in his amazing life is really brought in focus. Here is a man that did so many amazing things...any one of which most people would have considered to be an incredible accomplishment. From being a well paid motion picture actor, to president of the Screen Actor's Guild, to two terms as Governor of the State of California, to two terms as President of the United States...surviving an assassination attempt, ending the Cold War, bringing down the Berlin Wall, and on and on and on. No matter your political leanings, it would be hard to take a good look at this man's life and not recognize an incredible life lived. An American Life.

He is buried there, and inscribed around his resting place are these words: "I know in my heart that man is good, that what is right will always eventually triumph and there is a purpose and worth to each and every life." He was such a man of character, and it was a real pleasure to learn more about this incredible life.

We ended our visit with a delicious picnic lunch that Rob had packed for us before we left. We sat in the sun (and cold wind) in a little garden area on the grounds and had fresh sweet fruit, yummy sandwiches and some nice cold chardonnay (nice cold sparkling Peligrino for the girls). A perfect ending to a perfect little family road trip. Honestly there are few things I would rather do than spend the day with my family on a day like today. I'm a lucky wife/Mommy!

80 Years Ago Today

"You are his daughter?" she asked me. "Yes..." I replied between sobs. "I can tell, you have his eyes." I can remember thinking that she was just saying so...empty words to make the grieving feel better. After all, Dad's eyes were so much prettier than mine, a brighter blue. But his bright blue mixed with Mom's hazel created the grey/blue of mine...so I know I did have some part of him. She took her hand and closed his eyes for the last time. I remember thinking that was the last time I would see those kind and beautiful eyes. I miss them so much. I'm sure this kind nurse at Hoag had done this many times...but I still see his eyes turning dull with death. A horrible thing I wish I could forget.

Dad would have been 80 years old today. He reminded me more than once this year that he would be turning 80 this year...it was a big deal. What were we going to do? How would we celebrate? He always loved birthdays, actually any kind of holiday. Mother's Day, Father's Day, Christmas, Thanksgiving, Easter...any reason to get the family together for the day. I understand it so much better today than I did back then. Now I am a wife and a parent, and I know what it means to have a "family" day. Now I realize it was not so much the day that he wanted to celebrate, but just the togetherness. I get it now Dad...I finally get it.

Mom and Dad made the tough choice to leave the familiar and head into the unknown when they decided to take a job in Saudi Arabia. That choice allowed us all to see the world, the tourist traps and the unknown little villages deep in Third World countries. This bravery shaped my world and made me the person I am today. What a blessing it was that they were brave enough to take those steps and make that leap with our little family. Dad documented it all with is camera and is rarely in the pictures, but here is one of us both. I hated having my picture taken, but now regret it, as Dad always had his camera on his hip and we were always frowning and complaining. Now I am the one with the camera...and I am so grateful that he taught me the value of documenting one's life with photographs.

What lessons have I learned from being Stan Monson's daughter? I hope there are many that have sunk in. I have learned that loving one's family is the most important thing...FAMILY is everything. He was a very patient and loving Father. I never had any doubt that he loved me completely. He loved my husband and children and told me so frequently. He loved my Mother...and showed me that throughout the years of their marriage, and even after she was gone. He taught me the importance of documenting one's life with photographs, and now I am the one with the camera on my hip...annoying friends and family with the flash in their faces. But it was at the end of his life that I learned the most from my Dad. Confined to a bed, his body twisted with Parkinson's, he NEVER complained. He never asked "why me" or was bitter about his condition. Even after Mom died, when a good friend asked if he was ready to "go on" he replied, "no, I'm not done witnessing yet". He was such a strong Christian man, with such strong Faith. I hope to have a fraction of that strength and faith when then end of my life is near and I am facing that difficult road.

So Happy Birthday Dad. I love you so much and miss you more than these simple words can say. My dear friend Lo sent me such a kind email this morning, knowing what a hard day today would be for me, and it set the picture in my mind of you in heaven, celebrating your first heavenly birthday. I can hear your beautiful deep voice booming in song. I hope you and Mom are singing together...she is at the piano and you are standing behind her as you have always done. As it should be.

Happy 80th Birthday Dad. I Love You.

Halloween through the years...

I started to look back at some old pictures and as the discussion of our Halloween costumes is a hot topic around our house these days I took a little walk down memory lane. Of course what I need to do is print these and put them in a scrapbook...but here is a start. I don't have all of the years here, the first few years we did not have a digital camera and I need to go digging through some boxes to find the pics and scan them. So for the ones I have on hand, here goes:

2001

As you can see, Zoey was a SCARY WIZARD. My good friend Haven has a daughter about a year older than Zoey, and she is infinitely more creative with costumes than I. So for a few years I borrowed her daughter's "last year's" costume and away we went. Zoey is such a total Harry Potter fanatic that maybe this was responsible? Hmmm...

2002
I was 2 weeks away from delivering Avery,and I honestly don't remember what Zoey was...I have to look through the picture archives. I think Rob just walked her around our complex...it's all very fuzzy.

2003

Another beautiful "hand-me-down" costume from Haven...Zoey was a blond Snow White. Avery was a SCARY BUMBLEBEE complete with a "stinger" on her bottom. We went Trick-or-Treating at Mike and Annette's, and this started a tradition we have done every year since.

2004

This year we went very last minute and very "what we had on hand". Both of the girls were kind of a princess/fairy princess. We had some dress-up clothes (Zoey is wearing a Cinderella dress) combined with sparkly shoes, fairy crowns and wands and voila! I put a little lipgloss on the girls and with their rosy cheeks I think I have never seen a more beautiful sight. I'm expecting to see this when my life is flashing before my eyes.

2005

Not only were these costumes so meant to be, this has to be one of my favorite pictures of all time. We were in Target a few weeks before Halloween and these two costumes were hanging side by side. The angel costume was the right size for Zoey. The devil costume was the right size for Avery. They were both on sale. It was MEANT TO BE. Avery was at the time, very "spirited", "strong-willed", and all of the other words people use to describe a 2 year old child that is making her parents crazy. The day we brought them home they were so excited to put them on to show to Daddy when he got home from work, so they put them on and since they had done so I asked for a quick picture. Zoey's angelic smile and Avery's snarl were just too perfect, and so right on. Probably my favorite costumes of all time, and the angel costume had a new life for Avery years later.

2006

As you can see we don't deviate from the whole princess theme too much this year. The Barbie movies were the hot time around our house around this time, and everything Barbie was cool. So both of these costumes were dress up clothes from the latest addition to the Barbie movie family and we just added the pink boas and the crowns. We had such a fun year at Mike and Annette's this year, Annette dressed as a witch from head to toe and their house was decorated beautifully. This was the last year I could suggest a costume and they were okay with it, after this we have very serious ideas about what we wanted to be...and why.

2007

The Year of the Wig

This year both girls had very definite ideas about what they wanted to be. Zoey wanted to be Hannah Montana, which of course meant a big blonde wig (after all, doesn't Hannah wear a wig?) We bought a Bedazzler and ''bedazzled" her white jeans jacket and complete with a cool microphone she was Hannah. Avery wanted to be Ariel from the Disney movies and of course that required a bright red Ariel wig. Combined with her Ariel costume she had gotten the year before for Christmas we had a cool costume going on. I, however, had no idea what a pain in the rear the wigs would be! They would not stay on, they were itchy, scratchy, and just plain icky! I vowed that night that we would never do another costume that required a wig.

For any of us. I don't know...Rob looks like an aging Rocker...

2008

This year was a repeat of angel meets devil...but wait...our devil is...a LAWYER! Zoey was determined to dress as her future desired career, a lawyer. Avery was in Kindergarten, and at St. Paul's they do not celebrate Halloween, but instead dress as a Bible character on Halloween and have a fun parade. So Avery revived Zoey's angel costume from a few years back, and Zoey and I went to the GoodWill and got a dark suit...went to WalMart and got a shirt and tie, and went to Claire's for some fake glasses. Her Trick-or-Treat bucket was a laptop case donated by Auntie Lo...and there you have it...a Lawyer! Personalities are coming out, and I can't tell you how much fun it is for me to watch as a Mom. Just wait until you see what we have on tap for 2009...