Update on Dad-October 6, 2008

My updates have been few lately, and mostly because there is not much to report...or maybe just not too much positive, so I hate to report it.

Dad seems to be mostly the same, and that is to say he is still at Kindred Hospital in Westminister. He is still on oxygen, and still receiving antibiotics for his lung infection. His condition seems to me to go up and down by the day, especially mentally. One day I will see him and he seems pretty clear mentally, and the next he is impossible to understand, mumbling about things that don't make sense. On these days he seems to stare at the ceiling, and be completely "out of it". Yesterday, on his birthday, it was one of those visits. Very discouraging.

Rob and the girls and I went to see Dad for his birthday, and I doubt that he was aware it was his birthday, which is very unusual for him, as those types of holidays have always been a big deal for Dad. The girls had made him "birthday cards" or drawings for Grandpa, and they were anxious to share those with him and explain what they had drawn. Normally he would have really enjoyed that, but yesterday he seemed unable to really focus on what they were saying, or the drawings they were showing him. He seemed very thin to me, or just very drawn and frail. His eyes looked pretty glassy, and seemed to look at things that were not there. All in all, the visit was very discouraging, and when we left I felt very down. I called David, who had been there earlier in the day, and he had had a very similar experience. We both really question the reality of Dad getting back to Victoria any time soon.

I guess the reason this is so puzzling for us is that earlier, or mid-week Dad seemed to be doing quite a bit better. He seemed much clearer mentally, and his eyes were clear, his color looked pretty good. On Wednesday of last week I would have said it was only maybe a matter of 7-10 days before he would be ready to go back to Victoria. Then, just a few days later he appeared really no better to me than when he was admitted to Kindred, almost 5 weeks ago.

What causes these ups and downs I do not know. What I do know is it is very discouraging, and seeing him that way is extremely depressing, and frustrating. I feel so very helpless, and wish more than anything he did not have to go through this...and many times a day I wonder why he does.

Please send your prayers his way.